She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
