she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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