There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize