brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
