there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Holy shit dude........stairs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
