Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
