I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
