I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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