I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My penis needs a shock collar
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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