Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize