I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
