I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
