I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
