ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
