there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
