her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
