i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize