Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
