were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
