You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
