theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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