Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
