so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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