just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
