im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
