Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
