went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
