Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
