She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize