And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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