you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
