I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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