What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
