her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hippo gnu deer
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
