I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
