i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
