THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
