Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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