when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
