This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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