I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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