there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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