He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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