No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
