So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
