Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
