What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
