I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
