Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
