just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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