"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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