My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
