it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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