and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Panties = found
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