he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
