If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This can only be settled by a dance off.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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