Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
