We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
