i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
