I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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