So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
