$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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