I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
