do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
