I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize