she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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