Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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