Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
