But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This girl is more easily done than said...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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