she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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